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Slayer of Zombies' Journal


15th December 2001

12:08am: black coffee with a drop of rain
today was awful. and all of it was my fault. this morning i had a final but this entry does not really have to do with that, but it entirely does.
this morning my mom woke me up at about 7am because she wanted to make sure i did not have to get up early. i told her i had a late final and went back to bed, i woke up a little before my alarm went off so i just decided to get out of bed. laying in bed before i got out of it i was going over in my head that the final was at 11am but i wanted to go upstairs and check to make sure for some reason. i looked at my calendar and it said this "Friday December 14th - econ final 8:30-10:30" it was 9:43 at that point.
this is a class that i am not doing well in and i thought since it was at 11 i would have some time to go and study before the test too. so this test was really important. but here i was still at my house and the test would be over in less than 50 minutes and it takes 20 to get there and 10 to walk to class.
i almost started to cry as i ran back downstairs and grabbed a pen, my wallet, my watch, my hoodie and my shoes (after i threw on a shirt and pants, barely). next thing i was running out the door and in my car flying to school in the pouring rain. at one point i started to hydroplane when i hit a huge puddle but i still made it to school. (new record, 12 minutes).
i got to the parking lot and i pretty much ran to my class.
i started to get scared because no one was walking to their cars who were in my class which meant they could have all been finished a while ago and the teacher left. i found some one walking out of the building who was in my class and he said that the teacher was still there but the test was really hard, which i did not need to hear since i had less than 30 minutes to complete the final (keep in mind this test is important).
i made it to the room and the teacher was there and one kid left taking the test. i explained what had happened and the teacher, thank his heart, was really cool about it. he said he would give me all the time i needed even if we had to move to another room. so i took the test but half way through i realized i did not have a calculator and i needed one for the questions. my teacher was cool again and let me use the calculator program on his lab top computer for the problems. less than half way through he said he was going to get coffee and asked what i wanted and said it was on him.
well i finished the test within the time though i am sure i did not do that good on it, i hope he takes my rushing into consideration on the test.
so walking back to my car sipping on black coffee with rain falling in it i felt so sick. something like this has never happened to me before and i hope it never does again. so i am sitting here a nervous wreck still for some reason. but today luck was on my side.
Current Mood: distressed
12:40pm: terrible day part two
well i went to work. that part is obvious. working itself was not the part that made the rest of my day horrible, it was a particular incident.
i am currently living with my mom and her fiancee, who is really great. his exwife came into my work tonight. now her and her kids are arrogant and pieces of shit. they treated steve horribly and broke his heart. he did not deserve that.
when she was there i did not know who it was but she knew me and then revealed herself and said "yes i am the Bitch." which is funny because that is exactly what we call her too. well while i was helping her all she kept talking about was how great her son michael is (which is a sore subject for me because of certain things) and how well he is doing at pennstate main campus and all this shit. of course she happened to sneak in the amount it costs to send mike there, and that is when it started.
after that moment she started to berate steve (my mom's fiancee). that pissed me off. she complained how steve never helped to pay for mike's education and that steve is a terrible father because he did not care about his kids, and so on and so forth.
and this is why my work night sucked, i could not scream in her face at how much of a bitch she was and how steve is like a father to me and i got to see how crushed he was when his kids disowned him, but i had to choke it down. i had to swallow every insult and abuse she spat from that vile mouth. i wanted to punch her right in that fucking face. grrr. so after that i came to the realization of how much steve means to me too, not just my mom.
work got a little better after that because an old friend came in to visit. he was from the "old" crew at work. he went through all the shit with ray and cried with us all. so he means a lot to me as a friend. but our conversation was cut short because some dumb ass wondered why one bike was $189 and one was $99. obviously one has better shit. but anyway i really miss all those guys i used to work with. the people and way things are now really sucks.
when we finally got out of work a couple of us from work went to Friday's. i felt sorry for the waiter because this one girl that was with us was being such a bitch. but over all it was cool but very depressing that i was the oldest one there!! :( man i hate getting older already. pretty soon i will be 21 and then it will be weirder.
i wish i could have talked to erika tonight. i only got to call her before we went in to Friday's and tell her i love her. but i wanted to talk to her more. i miss her a lot. but i would rather her sleep then stay up and talk to me anyway. good night my love. and good night to anyone who actually reads this (all two of you). early work tomorrow so i am going to try and sleep.
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